Do you love cars and humor? You’re in the right place! We’ve gathered over 150 of the funniest car jokes, vehicle puns, and automotive humor that will have you laughing all the way to the garage. These car-related jokes are perfect to share with friends, family, or your mechanic during that awkward waiting room silence!
Cars and comedy go together like tires and roads! These general car puns will drive your sense of humor into overdrive.
What did the car say to the driver? “I’m tired of running around all day!”
I wanted to be a car when I grew up, but I wheelie changed my mind.
What do you call a car that doesn’t share? Shellfish.
My car runs on puns. It’s a Volks-wagon of jokes!
Why did the car go to therapy? It had too many auto-body issues.
I tried to come up with a good car pun, but I think I’m running out of gas.
What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamb-orghini!
How do cars stay cool? They have auto-conditioning.
What happens when a car gets angry? It gives you a piece of its mind… and maybe a piece of its engine too!
Why don’t cars play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Type of Car Pun
Example
Why It Works
Name-based
Why did the car go to the doctor? It was feeling a little car-sick!
Plays on the word “carsick”
Sound-based
What sound does a sleeping car make? Muf-fler!
Combines muffler with snoring
Part-based
I wheelie like you a lot!
Uses “wheelie” instead of “really”
Action-based
That new sports car really drives me crazy!
Double meaning of “drives”
Puns That Ignite Laughter
These fuel jokes and engine puns are combustibly funny! Get ready for some high-octane humor that will rev up your day.
My car’s engine said to me, “I’m really exhausted.”
What did the fuel tank say to the gas pump? “Fill me up with your sweet talk!”
I was going to tell a joke about premium gas, but it’s too high-grade for most people.
Why did the engine break up with the transmission? Too many grinding issues in their relationship.
What did the cylinder say to the piston? “Stop pushing me around!”
My car runs on organic fuel. It’s a natural gas vehicle.
Why was the diesel engine depressed? It felt like it was always under compression.
What happens when engines get cold? They need a little spark in their life!
The mechanic told me my engine had a drinking problem. Apparently, it consumes too much oil.
How do you know your engine is extroverted? It’s always making noise to get attention!
Car Puns and Jokes
Brake Time: Car Maintenance Jokes You’ll Relate To
Anyone who’s owned a car knows the joys (and pains) of maintenance. These repair jokes and maintenance puns will have you nodding in agreement while you laugh.
My mechanic told me he couldn’t fix my brakes, so he made my horn louder.
Why don’t mechanics tell jokes? They’re always too busy giving estimates that make you cry!
I told my mechanic I have a knocking sound. He said, “That’s just opportunity!”
What did the tire say to the road? “I’m feeling a bit worn out today.”
How many mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? Three – one to force it with the wrong tool, one to find the manual, and one to charge you for the whole headlight assembly!
My car is so old that when I took it to the mechanic, he kept it on display in the vintage section.
What do you call a car’s autobiography? A wheel story!
Why did the car go to the doctor? It was having backfiring problems!
The worst thing about car troubles is when your mechanic says, “I’ve never seen that before!”
What did the car say after the oil change? “I feel slick now!”
Case Study: The Mysterious Check Engine Light
James from Portland drove for 6 months with his check engine light on. “I just put a small piece of black tape over it,” he admits. “Problem solved until the transmission fell out on the highway.” The mechanic’s diagnosis? “Should’ve checked that engine light, buddy!”
Steer Clear of Boredom: Car-Related Jokes for All Ages
These steering wheel jokes andgeneral car humorwill turn any frown upside down. Perfect for car enthusiasts of all ages!
What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look, I’m changing!”
I told my steering wheel a joke. It just went around telling everyone.
Why don’t cars ever get hungry? They fill up at the gas station!
What’s a car’s favorite type of movie? One with good auto-graphy!
How do you make a car laugh? Tickle its funny bone… or just rev its engine!
Why was the car embarrassed? It got caught with its trunk open!
What do you call a car that snores? A little exhausted!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired! (Not a car, but wheelie funny!)
What did the GPS say to the driver? “In 100 feet, take a joke.”
How do cars stay young? Regular oil changes – it’s their anti-aging cream!
Car Puns and Jokes
Crash Course in Comedy: Car Accident Puns (Light-Hearted Only)
These accident puns are all in good fun – no serious crashes here! Just light-hearted fender bender humor that won’t dent your mood.
What did one car say to the other after a minor bump? “That’s how I roll!”
I rear-ended a car yesterday. The driver got out and he was a dwarf. He said, “I’m not happy.” I replied, “Well, which one are you then?”
Two cars crashed into each other. But they just exchanged paint.
What do you call it when your car gets hit by a flying object? UFO damage – Unfortunate Fender Occurrence!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms in cars? Because they make up everything in accidents!
What did the bumper say after the fender bender? “This is just not my day!”
I tried to make my car payment with a wrinkled check, but the bank said it was a crash course in unacceptable payments.
What’s the difference between a car accident and a computer crash? You don’t get to restart and try again with the car!
Why did the scarecrow win an award for preventing car accidents? He was outstanding in his field!
The insurance agent asked, “Were you at fault?” I said, “Well, technically the tree didn’t move out of my way.”
The Long Drive Laughs: Road Trip Car Jokes
Planning a road trip? These travel puns and journey jokes will make the miles fly by!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms in cars? Because they make up everything!
What game do cars play on road trips? Axle-teration!
How do you know when a road trip is going to be long? When the GPS starts calculating in days, not hours!
What did the GPS say to the impatient driver? “Recalculating your attitude…”
Why do cars on road trips always seem sad? They miss their garage!
I went on a road trip with a cheese lover. Every time we passed a dairy farm, they said, “That’s where the gouda stuff comes from!”
What did one highway say to the other? “Let’s meet at the intersection!”
Road trips are like relationships – it’s not about the destination, it’s about how many times you ask “Are we there yet?”
What’s a car’s favorite kind of road trip? One with no speed bumps in the relationship!
Why don’t cars like road trips through the mountains? Too many ups and downs!
Car Puns and Jokes
Road Trip Essential
Car Joke Version
Snacks
“My car runs on three things: gas, oil, and drive-thru food”
Music
“My playlist is so good even my car stereo gets amped!”
GPS
“My GPS and I argue a lot. It’s always telling me where to go”
Rest stops
“Why did the car need a break? It was exhausted!”
Emergency kit
“I keep a joke book in my glove box for emergency laughs”
Brand Banter: Car Manufacturer Puns That Hit the Gas
Thesebrand-specific jokes target your favorite car manufacturers. From Ford puns to Toyota jokes, we’ve got humor for every make and model!
What do you call a Ford that never breaks down? A miracle!
How do you double the value of a Yugo? Fill the gas tank!
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!
Why don’t Teslas tell jokes? They’re afraid of the punchline!
What do you call a Toyota that can fly? A Toy-yoda!
Why did Mercedes and BMW get along so well? They had great chemistry… premium chemistry!
I told my Honda it was adopted. Now it has Civic issues.
What’s a ghost’s favorite car? A Boo-ick!
Why did the chicken ride in a Lamborghini? To get to the other side in style!
I drive a Hybrid – it’s half car, half financial mistake.
Car Puns and Jokes
Parallel Comedy: Parking Puns and Lot Laughs
Finding a parking spot is no joke – but these parking puns certainly are! Get ready for some parallel humor that will have you in stitches.
I’m terrified of parallel parking… it’s a complex I’ve developed.
What did one parking space say to the other? “Is it just me, or do you feel empty inside too?”
I got a ticket for parking in a spot marked “Fine for Parking.” I thought they were encouraging me!
Why did the car break up with its parking spot? It felt like they were just going in circles.
What’s a car’s least favorite game? Musical parking spots!
I used to have a fear of parking garages, but I’m driving through it.
Why don’t cars like parking on hills? It’s just too much of an incline-ation!
What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man in a car? Attire!
My car is so smart it can find a parking spot all by itself. Unfortunately, it’s usually the one that says “Reserved for CEO.”
How many cars does it take to fill a parking lot? Just one if it parks diagonally across four spaces!
Little Drivers, Big Laughs: Car Puns for Kids
Thesekid-friendly car jokesare perfect for the little auto enthusiasts in your life. Clean, silly, and guaranteed to get a giggle!
What do you call a sleeping bull in a car factory? A bulldozer!
Why did the car go to school? To get a little smarter car!
What kind of car does a mouse drive? A tiny one!
Why was the little car sent to its room? It was being wheel bad!
How do monsters like to travel? By scareplane! (Okay, not a car, but the kids will love it!)
What do you call a cat who loves traveling in cars? A meow-torist!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired!
How does a car drink water? From a fuel-intain!
What did the mommy car say to the baby car? “Beep good!”
Why did the car cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy!
Car Puns and Jokes
BONUS: Rides, Boats & More – Extended Vehicle Humor
Lift Your Mood with These Lyft and Taxi Jokes
Why don’t taxi drivers ever tell secrets? Too many cab-eavesdroppers!
What did the Uber driver say to the road? “We’ve got a long way to go, but I’m up for the journey!”
Why was the taxi driver always happy? He was driven to succeed!
I asked my Lyft driver for a joke. He said, “Your destination is just ahead.”
What’s the difference between a taxi driver and a philosopher? The taxi driver actually gets somewhere with his theories!
Boat-Load of Laughs: Best Water Ride Puns
What do you call a boat full of polite football players? A good sportsman-ship!
Why don’t boats ever sink in the Dead Sea? Too much salt – they’re pretty well-preserved!
What’s a boat’s favorite type of jeans? Sailor pants!
I bought a used boat recently. It was quite the sail!
Why don’t boats like to go to school? They prefer to be home schooled!
RV There Yet? Camper Jokes for Travelers
What’s an RV owner’s favorite TV show? “Wheel of Fortune”!
Why don’t RVs ever get lost? They’re always at home wherever they go!
What do you call an RV with no wheels? A stuck-up mobile home!
How many retirees does it take to drive an RV? Two – one to drive and one to say “you’re too close to the right!”
Why was the RV sweating? It had a mobile home-ostasis problem!
Public Transport Giggles: Funny Bus Puns
Why did the bus go to the doctor? It had a terminal illness!
What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “The Wheels on the Bus” (an oldie but a goodie)!
Why don’t buses ever get cold? They have route warmers!
What did the passenger say to the rude bus driver? “This conversation is going nowhere!”
I tried to catch the bus today, but it was moving too fast. Story of my life!
Car Puns and Jokes
Revved Up: Drag Racing Jokes to Burn Rubber
What’s a drag racer’s favorite snack? Fast food!
Why don’t drag racers tell jokes at the starting line? They’re afraid of drag-ging it out!
What did the tire say to the drag racer? “I’m really feeling the pressure right now!”
How do drag racers like their coffee? Fuel-ly loaded and in a rush!
Why was the drag racer so good at math? He knew all the short-cuts!
Eco-Laughs: Electric Car Jokes That Spark Joy
What did the electric car say at the comedy club? “I’m here to get recharged!”
Why are electric car owners bad at keeping secrets? They can’t help but spill the current events!
What’s an electric car’s favorite movie? “The Current War”!
Why don’t electric cars tell jokes? They’re afraid of shocking people!
How many electric car owners does it take to change a lightbulb? None – they’re too busy telling everyone they drive an electric car!
